On

My mind is on. It is weird how something in your psyche clicks. You tell yourself that your time is now, and just work away to get something done. I have set myself the task of getting a screenplay written by next sunday. So far, I have done two treatments, each going into more detail than the last.

This is a new process for me. I will be doing a third and final treatment, this will probably mean I will miss my deadline. That is fine, when I write with final draft, I can do 20 pages a day. I just type the shit out of it and then notice it is terrible.

What do we say to the god of mediocrity? Not today.

I've learnt lessons from not writing as much as I have from writing. In my first few attempts at writing, I copied.

Now I feel I am willing to such for my own voice. This is something that other writers need to do. Make peace with the fact that you will never write like your idols.

I have camera angles, lighting all in my head. Because my first script lack detail and a lot of talk. I think the sparse detail is a weakness, as is my disregard for some sort of emotional character arc for Prog.

The one thing that hurts me as a writer is this: not everything will be made. I'll have to make peace with that, much like I have with not trying or failing.

Anyway, I am going to write an amazing script.

I've done the research, I've pretty much figure out the entire story and the different plotlines. Too sound cocky, I think it has something to say about day to day life and some fucking hilarious moments.

I've probably said this before, but I don't talk about projects that haven't been written yet. This one is ready to burst out of me now. It's been a long time coming, and I have many more writing projects to get through.

I know the chief weakness of my script, but it is the easiest part to change. I'll keep working on that in between other projects until it works.

I intend it to be the second film, I ever make.

The first, well, that'll be the third screenplay I write this year. Then I have two collaborations on screenplays planned for the following year.

Happiness

Slowly but surely I'm evolving as a human being.

This weekend has been primarily been focused on cooking. I've made pesto, cayenne pepper brussel sprouts, roast chicken, soup, moroccan curry sauce, ketchup, tomato sauce with olives, pancakes. It's been fun. The little things remind you that things can be easy.

I've been reminded that comics are fun and enjoyable for me. Just not the Marvel and DC stuff. But the comics I grew up reading, where the art is actually cartoony. When I write comics, I will, I want to work with cartoonists on it, because they just awaken something within me. That's why I ordered a couple of comics off amazon that I used to read at my junior schools library. Every time as a class, I would make rush to the comics, sit down and read them. Some times it was TinTin, most of the time it was something else.

Words don't always capture me, but the image will.

I ran five miles, it wasn't fun, but I did it.

I am the most cynical guy I know. I'm kind of in a happy state, right now.

To finish this post off I am using a comic strip from Zenpencils. It was hard to choose. If you want something more poignant, go on the artists website, he is never short of that.

Tony Hancocks Head

I guess I'm a one track mind person. All this time, I've been walking to work, I never noticed Tony Hancocks massive head staring at me.

Work is getting a little more stressful, I am of the opinion, actually this is a rule.

Rule #1: No matter how much you are upset about something or someone. Never take it out on someone who doesn't deserve it.

This has been happening to me too often. Why I am being used as the target is that I am an open guy, I like to talk. Obviously the girl at work who seemed to be friendly at the start, seems to have grown tired of me, and likes to be a bit of a cunt.

I understand that we are from different cultures, essentially different worlds even though we live within a large radius around Birmingham. I can't help but feel that she is scuppered by how I am and how I act, and how we can't accept each others norms.

I can't help it, she can't help it.

One thing is for sure, when I put a team meeting together when our team leader is away. I don't expect to be told repeatedly that I interrupted her from doing work. Well, you know what fuck you. I help you with your job. I respect you. I expect respect in turn.

I know how I come across to people, but treat me as a child if you will. That is a big mistake.

Disregard my role and don't help me out. That just pisses me off.

If she pulls this shit again, I will talk to her face to face. Obviously I haven't got the guts at the moment. I'm blogging about it and using tact by passing on this to my colleague who would have passed it over to her.

She likes to winge about her job to me. I can't complain about my job, because she doesn't give a shit. I have had enough.

I know I'll have no one on my side, because I don't moan. Grit your teeth and do your fucking job.

This is a dickish thought. But thank god I have more talent than her. She has the worst designs an artist has ever made. I would not be doing a crime if I discouraged her from persuing it.


 I know I am feeling sociopathic, I know this doesn't reflect well on me. But Nobody gives a shit about me at work, so I am letting it all out here.

I am not going to be there forever. I honestly hope she is.

Stop getting motivated

Success and failure is dependant on whether you take action. If you don't take action then you will succeed at that, but fail at everything else.

I'm tired of being a loser.

There is only so long you can read things and watch things about getting motivated before you get something done.

Stop wasting your fucking life like everyone else, you have a head start by doing what you want, because plenty of other people don't want this as much as you do.

I'm 12 stone 8 from 13 stone 10 from around 40ish days ago. It wasn't even hard and I'm not trying to lose weight, I just follow some simple principles and it works.

Small steps.