First Draft

Lars

(Breathlessly)

Thanks.

Lars looks around and notices a RECEPTIONIST in her forties and another fifty something man JULIAN. 

Receptionist  

Does it smell?

Lars

Yes.

Receptionist

God's green earth! Do you see what I mean? Some people need to sort out their diet.

Receptionist pulls a can of air freshener from beneath her desk and walks around it and out of the reception and closes the door.

We can see through a tiny pane of the door and hear the "SHUHHHH!" of the air freshner and it sprays out white gas.

Receptionist (CONT’D)

(Muffled)

It bloody stinks out here!

Receptionist opens the door and walks back to her desk.

Receptionist (CONT’D)

How are we supposed to make a good impression to clients if they walk into a cloud of that?! I swear Julian, this is going to cost so much in aerosols. You need to talk to security.

Julian

I did. The building is responsible for the toilets, not the companies. As such anyone on any floor can use any toilet on every floor. We can't stop them. Some people are so boring they play toilet bingo, trying to use the facilities on every floor.

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Just working through my first draft as of Monday. I was so happy to be done with the treatment that came to 26 pages. The funny thing is I didn't include the end sequence, because that would've took 26 pages. 

As I continue, I don't need to look at my treatment as I know the piece intimately now, and just look back at it now and then. Spending all this time on it, writing on index cards and all other things, I must've written 90 pages on it, before I even started.

However, now I have started and it is good to be back. Writing screenplays feels good. It's not perfect, but it's the first draft. 

The beginning of the piece was the hardest, I just hit a wall straight away. Now I am almost knee deep in it and have hits my stride as the screenplay is going in the direction it is supposed to. A lot of foreshadowing at the moment. 

I 'm at page 34 at the moment. I have about another hour of writing left in me today. The thing I am struggling with is finding the main character's voice and the fact that he seems to be a victim or witness to things, rather than an instigator. I know events change this in the screenplay, but I get the feeling if someone read this, they would chuck it away quickly.

I should finish the draft somewhat soon. Then in two weeks, off to film school to learn the basics of filmmaking.