I am man, hear me winge

It's 1:56 am, my bed is a mountain of clothes and I've ate a third of the pringles in the can on my own. I think it's time to tell you what I think, whilst condensing your opinions into the spam folder.

Everyone thinks next year is their year. Confidence after a day or two of splurging their organs into a vault of decadence that is acceptable in this day and age. I myself am not innocent of these war crimes and will thus be tried at the Hague in a matter of days. We are usually invincible on certain days of the year; our birthdays, halloween, close friends birthdays and work dos. Oh, and that thing called Christmas, not even atheists can escape it's mighty clutches as 'tradition' brings the movement to its very knees and cock slaps it in the face. *

Right now people feel like shit, they will never do it again, until new years eve. Then they shall change, we will all appear a week later as sparkling hopeful souls of the future (except rational people, they know we're going to fail)

All you smokers, look forward to angsty workmates bouncing around like constipated five year olds as you take another toke on them death sticks (fuck it, we're all going to die anyway, it's all painful in the end)

Meanwhile, I am perfectly confident that I can change, because I've been wanting to change since the summer and rational (that's rational-stupid people, it's like the North-East (that is as in cardinal direction, not the North-East of England) of personality traits). My uncle said today he was going to start going to the gym three to four times a week, we'll see how he feels after two weeks of muscle soreness. People take the judgement of todays magazines and advertising as a route to punish themselves by afflicting morals upon themselves.


 If you don't enjoy it, don't change. Find something you might enjoy and do that.

There are plenty of things that won't stick for me, but they're the little things. I won't stay clean shaven for the entire year, I won't make it out of the week. I won't read every book I have. I will never read every Ancient Greek text in history, I won't even get through the first two. Clothes will always be on my floor.

But I will change because I feel unhappy, I'm not where I wanted to be a year ago. I was extremely hopeful for the future (despite it being completely unplanned) but I have learnt with this excess of free time (even the fun things are becoming a chore, these days) that I want something, I can't wait for it to happen. I have to do something and I will. That is why I am starting what I will be doing in advance of everyone else (some people are doing the same, very smart, rational-stupid people). I know I won't be touching alcohol in substantial quantaties for a little while, which is good. I'm not too attached to alcohol, unless you've plugged an I.V drip into my arm (it is cliché, but the other alternative ways of inserting alcohol inside me is pretty gross).

Next year will be bigger for me, but at the same time I am aware that it won't be my biggest year. It is getting the ball rolling, it'll probably take me another three to four years. It might take longer, but I have said I have until 2015 till I wuss out on some stupid suicide threat (I won't do it, anyway). Haters can picket their hate, but I'm going to go far, of course writing about it (in this sense) won't get me far.


I probably leave (for this year) with one thing, idolise peoples achievement not who they are. You won't be disappointed that way, but I find that it is pretty impossible when I listen to Childish Gambino. Because I think Donald Glover is who he wants to be:

I won't stop until they say, "James Franco is the white Donald Glover"

I wouldn't mind being a called the White Donald Glover, he is a rapper, stand-up comedian, comedy writer, actor and this combination should make you wince. But, it doesn't, or at least not to me. His music, his jokes, all his performances come with nuggets of truth behind the tunes, jokes and lines.

I actually love this guys writing, I have no idea why, rapping isn't my thing. He is a master of word play. For some reason he started at my age and I think, why not me? I can do that (not rap, but some of the other things...)

I got a book by Woody Allen for christmas, inside are execerpts of his notebooks (it's weird, he writers his stuff just like I do, not style, but ideas.

Anyway I play you out with Childish Gambino, if you can't get into it, fast forward to 2:59. I don't know how people become master storytellers, anyother way without hard graft. What makes things so masterful, working hard on something and then it comes together as if that person makes it effortless,

Anyway, see you when I see you.

*I suppose that's fine, I've never heard anyone being called a 'Bad Athiest'.