Months of preparation and weeks of illness lead me to the 10k race that I took part in yesterday.
So, how did it go? Good question, I hated it and kind of liked it at the same time. Running alongside hundreds of people tome is a horrible feeling, it psychologically plays with my mind, because I run alone and rarely see other runners. If I do see runners, we are never running on the same route for very long.
A thing that annoyed me was the person who works at a gym to go up on stage to warm us up, I just turned on my ipod and listened to music. I'd already warmed up. But she was doing stupid movements that don't really prepare your body to go running. I and the rest of the Red runners (Club and faster runners) do our own warm ups, my usual jump squats and lunges.
So when I run alongside people, I feel like I've been running longer than I actually have. Ten minutes felt like forever.
Was it tough? I has been years that I have ran five miles at a single pace. But I have been running 5.5 miles every week with a interval timer, so the distance was not the problem.
I tried almost every one of my running tactics to finish and get a good time. I noticed I could beat my time when I finished the first lap at 20 minutes. After a massive hill climb and the long winding roads, I knew the route and I knew I could run the second lap easier. Immediately I started running behind someone moving at a steady pace, staying with him for about a mile. Then the second hill run begins, I always go slow up hills because if I go fast, then I'm wasting energy on the flat and prior to the hill there is a big dip down a road, so I just let gravity push me fast down there.
By the way, the worst thing about running in races is if you stop for a second, forty people will overtake you.
Anyway I did alright, beat my previous 10k time by about 3-4 minutes. My legs still hurt, I didn't have fun (well I did, but...)
Monday, 14 May 2012
Thursday, 10 May 2012
It is impossible for me to write a serious covering letter
I have a problem, and this problem may be keeping me from getting a job.
I have spent the last hour working on a covering letter for one thing, yes this is how considerate I am. It is a snarky, self absorbed, meta cover letter. I will in defence say that most websites with covering letter advice say to be "unique" I don't think they mean this much.
Honestly, it is not be intent to write these kind of covering letters but I do. Perhaps, it is due to the boredom of doing something conventional, why not be the Charlie Kaufman of covering letters? Oh wait, that's right, I won't get a job!
This is a huge problem, because I have no idea if it is the right thing to do and I cannot write a normal covering letter. It is impossible, it is inexplainable as to why it is so hard.
In creative writing, the blank page is not as scary as writing a covering letter. Why? Because in CW I can do anything. For a covering letter, I have to convince people that they have to hire me, argh FUCK YOU PAPER AUDITION!
I'm currently thinking of metaphorical things to stab in my metaphorical eyes, this is how tough it is. In my minds eye I am rolling on the carpet from side to side with a slow building scream.
I understand the whole process of hiring, and I may be the least hirable person with a Bachelors with Honours. Except those poor stand-up BA students, but then they may be funny in the workplace.
There is no form of proof that hiring me will pay off. Non.
It is like I'm throwing myself out there whilst thinking will they like me, whilst also not giving a fuck. I can pretend to be a nice person and do a good job, that is easy, but convincing people is tough. These personalised covering letters which I was told to do and is common practice seem too personal.
This whole unique aspect of applying for shit jobs also means one thing, you're being hired for some shitty mundane job. People will know I have plans past working at labotomy retail store #439.
This is not as bad as writing application forms, but still, there is an aspect that trying too hard will mean I will fuck it up entirely. I don't know these people, I don't know their sense of humour. I am probably getting blacklisted by every company I send a letter/email to.
I have spent the last hour working on a covering letter for one thing, yes this is how considerate I am. It is a snarky, self absorbed, meta cover letter. I will in defence say that most websites with covering letter advice say to be "unique" I don't think they mean this much.
Honestly, it is not be intent to write these kind of covering letters but I do. Perhaps, it is due to the boredom of doing something conventional, why not be the Charlie Kaufman of covering letters? Oh wait, that's right, I won't get a job!
This is a huge problem, because I have no idea if it is the right thing to do and I cannot write a normal covering letter. It is impossible, it is inexplainable as to why it is so hard.
In creative writing, the blank page is not as scary as writing a covering letter. Why? Because in CW I can do anything. For a covering letter, I have to convince people that they have to hire me, argh FUCK YOU PAPER AUDITION!
I'm currently thinking of metaphorical things to stab in my metaphorical eyes, this is how tough it is. In my minds eye I am rolling on the carpet from side to side with a slow building scream.
I understand the whole process of hiring, and I may be the least hirable person with a Bachelors with Honours. Except those poor stand-up BA students, but then they may be funny in the workplace.
There is no form of proof that hiring me will pay off. Non.
It is like I'm throwing myself out there whilst thinking will they like me, whilst also not giving a fuck. I can pretend to be a nice person and do a good job, that is easy, but convincing people is tough. These personalised covering letters which I was told to do and is common practice seem too personal.
This whole unique aspect of applying for shit jobs also means one thing, you're being hired for some shitty mundane job. People will know I have plans past working at labotomy retail store #439.
This is not as bad as writing application forms, but still, there is an aspect that trying too hard will mean I will fuck it up entirely. I don't know these people, I don't know their sense of humour. I am probably getting blacklisted by every company I send a letter/email to.
Wednesday, 9 May 2012
Why do most shows sound almost exactly like other shows?
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/live-feed/tv-pilots-2012-complete-guide-287221
I am particularly cautious of the show that is "House as a vet"
I am particularly cautious of the show that is "House as a vet"
Sunday, 6 May 2012
Almost true to my word
Today is an anniversary. On the 6th of May 2011, I handed in my screenplay as my dissertation. I have briefly scoured my blog from the beginning, and I might've said some things that I will not stick with.
No. 1: I said I would try to be a writer until 2015, if that didn't work out then I would do something (probably kill myself, but I wouldn't bother with that) probably be miserable and glum. I have things to write for a long while and when I become a professional is whenever, there is no end date.
No. 2: I would send off something on this day to the BBC Writersroom every year...
And here is why. Writing at University burned me out and I needed some time and still do to really sit down and write something worth while. I'm progressing by centremetres, not by miles, this is fine. I can't go forward with half-formed ideas, I just can't. So I have been slowly planning my scripts.
Anyway I wrote a sketch last week and slowly spent this week working on it. I showed it to a few friends and got some feedback. I have then uploaded the script onto a website and entered it in a competition. Will I win? That would be nice, it is a small competition and I have never entered one. The thing I'm glad about is that I wrote this sketch, and it worked fine. I don't feel any attachment to the script nor care what happens to it. This is a nice feeling, there are so many stories in my head that I am invested in, that it is nice not to give a fuck and throw something out in 30 minutes.
So I kind of sent something off, just not to the writersroom. What's the hurry, I might as well spend my time trying to get it right without people noticing than fucking up and getting plenty of attention.
That screenplay was a bitch.
No. 1: I said I would try to be a writer until 2015, if that didn't work out then I would do something (probably kill myself, but I wouldn't bother with that) probably be miserable and glum. I have things to write for a long while and when I become a professional is whenever, there is no end date.
No. 2: I would send off something on this day to the BBC Writersroom every year...
And here is why. Writing at University burned me out and I needed some time and still do to really sit down and write something worth while. I'm progressing by centremetres, not by miles, this is fine. I can't go forward with half-formed ideas, I just can't. So I have been slowly planning my scripts.
Anyway I wrote a sketch last week and slowly spent this week working on it. I showed it to a few friends and got some feedback. I have then uploaded the script onto a website and entered it in a competition. Will I win? That would be nice, it is a small competition and I have never entered one. The thing I'm glad about is that I wrote this sketch, and it worked fine. I don't feel any attachment to the script nor care what happens to it. This is a nice feeling, there are so many stories in my head that I am invested in, that it is nice not to give a fuck and throw something out in 30 minutes.
So I kind of sent something off, just not to the writersroom. What's the hurry, I might as well spend my time trying to get it right without people noticing than fucking up and getting plenty of attention.
That screenplay was a bitch.
Thursday, 26 April 2012
It's almost time to say goodbye
No, nothing bad happened. I'm not going to kill myself. I know, I just let down my readership/reader down... again.
I've talked a little about my notebook, how I like having it, but it is just a piece of paper for me to write on. Blank paper usually has smaller value compared to the opposite. I am coming to the conclusion of finishing notebook #3, as usual the notebook more or less takes a year to fill up. I am fourteen pages away from finishing what I started from May 2011 and will no doubt conclude in May 2012.
It is kind of cool, of the past year I think ideas for stories has doubled my last list, which is pretty shitty. I haven't really been writing, just note taking. Note taking is neccesary for me to build the stories, despite not really writing any for almost a year.
The notebook is neccesary because I take influence from another story (The Shield, IT Crowd, The West Wing) and transplant them into one of my stories. Effectively I use these projects as templates, and I sometimes build characters, setting and so forth of these projects. From my note taking and my mind constantly being ON about writing, I slowly begin to deviate from my templates.
So now I am bringing my own ideals to the story and it just organically grows away from what it is descended from, this is not any asexual reproduction that we are forced to consume, this is creative sex between my imagination and something that is already out there.
It helps give me a sense of where my projects would be in the marketplace. This is where the fun begins because at a certain point I won't need these projects as inspiration any more, and I find that in my head and on paper, I can define these tales succintely.
Not only this, but I do not want to put out half baked ideas. I derailed my feature film script dissertation for uni, by lack of sleep (but we're not talking about that) and I got caught up in trying to figure out how to write a TV pilot.
The pilot was okay, but rushed, slightly generic and needed some time to slumber prior to its release. I try not to rush story, because that means it could become boring at certain points. When a film or TV show is on, your mind must be racing with it. Your mind should have all sorts of thoughts about what might occur next. That doesn't happen often enough in my opinion.
Something that caught my attention whilst watching yesterday: Cabin in the Woods
Something that didn't catch my attention whilst watching yesterday: Dark Star
Last week I was scouring my usual messageboard reading the writing threads, advice about writing threads and ask the professionals threads. One fantastic bit of planning I came across was, if you are stuck in what to do next in your story, write ten possible outcomes. From that pick the one which you think sounds best, don't be afraid to write some stupid possibilities. I'm using this tactic for fleshing out my characters, trying to figure out their backstory by writing above them "why is ---- a dick" "what are --- trying to hide" and it has been a huge improvement. Usually the ten choices kind of start to mesh together to build different layers to this person and this was unexpected.
I think this is a new constant in my approach to writing. Which is nice.
Plus I get to buy a new notebook, nothing moleskin and nothing you can buy from a stationary shop.
Bye.
I've talked a little about my notebook, how I like having it, but it is just a piece of paper for me to write on. Blank paper usually has smaller value compared to the opposite. I am coming to the conclusion of finishing notebook #3, as usual the notebook more or less takes a year to fill up. I am fourteen pages away from finishing what I started from May 2011 and will no doubt conclude in May 2012.
It is kind of cool, of the past year I think ideas for stories has doubled my last list, which is pretty shitty. I haven't really been writing, just note taking. Note taking is neccesary for me to build the stories, despite not really writing any for almost a year.
The notebook is neccesary because I take influence from another story (The Shield, IT Crowd, The West Wing) and transplant them into one of my stories. Effectively I use these projects as templates, and I sometimes build characters, setting and so forth of these projects. From my note taking and my mind constantly being ON about writing, I slowly begin to deviate from my templates.
So now I am bringing my own ideals to the story and it just organically grows away from what it is descended from, this is not any asexual reproduction that we are forced to consume, this is creative sex between my imagination and something that is already out there.
It helps give me a sense of where my projects would be in the marketplace. This is where the fun begins because at a certain point I won't need these projects as inspiration any more, and I find that in my head and on paper, I can define these tales succintely.
Not only this, but I do not want to put out half baked ideas. I derailed my feature film script dissertation for uni, by lack of sleep (but we're not talking about that) and I got caught up in trying to figure out how to write a TV pilot.
The pilot was okay, but rushed, slightly generic and needed some time to slumber prior to its release. I try not to rush story, because that means it could become boring at certain points. When a film or TV show is on, your mind must be racing with it. Your mind should have all sorts of thoughts about what might occur next. That doesn't happen often enough in my opinion.
Something that caught my attention whilst watching yesterday: Cabin in the Woods
Something that didn't catch my attention whilst watching yesterday: Dark Star
Last week I was scouring my usual messageboard reading the writing threads, advice about writing threads and ask the professionals threads. One fantastic bit of planning I came across was, if you are stuck in what to do next in your story, write ten possible outcomes. From that pick the one which you think sounds best, don't be afraid to write some stupid possibilities. I'm using this tactic for fleshing out my characters, trying to figure out their backstory by writing above them "why is ---- a dick" "what are --- trying to hide" and it has been a huge improvement. Usually the ten choices kind of start to mesh together to build different layers to this person and this was unexpected.
I think this is a new constant in my approach to writing. Which is nice.
Plus I get to buy a new notebook, nothing moleskin and nothing you can buy from a stationary shop.
Bye.
Monday, 16 April 2012
I have nothing to say anymore
I usually write a blog post a month.
These are moments of my text that breaths catharsis and distill a sense of meditation in every reader (all one of you). But, deep down, we know that's not fucking true.
Sure, I can do a ranting blog. That would mean, I would need to take a break from my exile from the world outside my door, that is asking a lot.
I could write in a vague, abstract way of what I am doing, or might not. I'm probably lying. "Hey, I'm getting closer to my target" to "oh fuck sticks, I'm not getting closer to my target" all the way through purposefully not mentioning my endgame, because quite honestly THERE ISN'T ONE.
And another thing, who the fuck are all you people from Asia and Europe and Australia, and why are you reading my blog. Now I know that blogs are open for anyone, the question is why bother reading mine.
In my last blog post, it was about Lovefilm. Something is very broken with that. There is no structure to this blog and I might let it continue that way.
As of right now, I have fuck all to say. Now, I know you all want my opinion on a 3d projection of Tupac. I would have preferred a plasticine version, we shall never talk on this subject ever again.
I want to be a professional writer, but lack the ability to consistently follow a word with another word so that a story emerges.
Before I finish this detailed, yet slightly ambiguous post I have one more thing to say.
The Word of the day is Hegemony.
Who the fuck in Singapore wants to read this shit?
These are moments of my text that breaths catharsis and distill a sense of meditation in every reader (all one of you). But, deep down, we know that's not fucking true.
Sure, I can do a ranting blog. That would mean, I would need to take a break from my exile from the world outside my door, that is asking a lot.
I could write in a vague, abstract way of what I am doing, or might not. I'm probably lying. "Hey, I'm getting closer to my target" to "oh fuck sticks, I'm not getting closer to my target" all the way through purposefully not mentioning my endgame, because quite honestly THERE ISN'T ONE.
And another thing, who the fuck are all you people from Asia and Europe and Australia, and why are you reading my blog. Now I know that blogs are open for anyone, the question is why bother reading mine.
In my last blog post, it was about Lovefilm. Something is very broken with that. There is no structure to this blog and I might let it continue that way.
As of right now, I have fuck all to say. Now, I know you all want my opinion on a 3d projection of Tupac. I would have preferred a plasticine version, we shall never talk on this subject ever again.
I want to be a professional writer, but lack the ability to consistently follow a word with another word so that a story emerges.
Before I finish this detailed, yet slightly ambiguous post I have one more thing to say.
The Word of the day is Hegemony.
Who the fuck in Singapore wants to read this shit?
Tuesday, 3 April 2012
Oh LoveFilm...
I think this is my new found addiction. It is cheaper than buying dvds and blu-rays at this point as I did seem to buy a lot before. This just means I can watch all those things I didn't want to spend money on. So I now have 220 dvd and blu-ray titles in my rental que, I'd be saying goodbye to life if I had one.
So anyway, the first two blu-rays sent to me were Valhalla Rising and Red Hill. So why were these my first two choices?
Well, Valhalla Rising was directed by Nic Winding Refn (director of Drive and Bronson) The bracketed films, I'd previously watched and liked/loved them. So judging from the trailer of Valhalla Rising, Refn would be gorging on some Peckinpah bloodlust. That is only for a little bit, the production is fantastic but it does have a similarity to Drive in the silent protagonist. Sadly I was actually bored, I understood almost all that happened. Don't go in thinking of Drive. The violence was awesome though.
Red Hill. The only other Aussie Western I've seen was The Proposition, unfortunately it's been a while since I saw that, I seem to recall lending it to a friend and never getting it back. But anyway
It is rude to call Red Hill generic, but it is definitely a paint by numbers job transplanted into a slightly different locale. That is not a bad thing, I really enjoyed it. It was predictable, but I like watching it. I had fun watching a film. That is something that as we grow older, the thing we forget about. We want logic and realism. I want films to be fun as well. There were some unrealistic moments, but at the same time worth a watch.
So anyway, the first two blu-rays sent to me were Valhalla Rising and Red Hill. So why were these my first two choices?
Well, Valhalla Rising was directed by Nic Winding Refn (director of Drive and Bronson) The bracketed films, I'd previously watched and liked/loved them. So judging from the trailer of Valhalla Rising, Refn would be gorging on some Peckinpah bloodlust. That is only for a little bit, the production is fantastic but it does have a similarity to Drive in the silent protagonist. Sadly I was actually bored, I understood almost all that happened. Don't go in thinking of Drive. The violence was awesome though.
Red Hill. The only other Aussie Western I've seen was The Proposition, unfortunately it's been a while since I saw that, I seem to recall lending it to a friend and never getting it back. But anyway
It is rude to call Red Hill generic, but it is definitely a paint by numbers job transplanted into a slightly different locale. That is not a bad thing, I really enjoyed it. It was predictable, but I like watching it. I had fun watching a film. That is something that as we grow older, the thing we forget about. We want logic and realism. I want films to be fun as well. There were some unrealistic moments, but at the same time worth a watch.
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