Failure #2

The 100 failures continues. I struggle with writing. It has been stated in the blog, so many times that people have stopped reading it, because that is all I have to say.

Struggling to get three pages down in roughly 30 minutes, is pretty bad by my standards. This is a massive journey for me. Much like Joe Campbell's monomyth that is used in films today, I am trying to follow the path and live that pattern.

This is not a fun thing to do. It shouldn't be fun all the time. Self doubt set in, as it usually does. Thinking what is wrong with the script and how to improve it for the next draft. The next draft?! I'm only 18 pages into the second draft. I need to push that out of my mind. Failure never leaves you, you just learn to accept it more I suppose.

My target for what the film should be is not fitting with the words I splutter onto the keyboard. Something good will come of it, I just have to accept that this draft will suck as well.

There is something in my head that is becoming stronger and it is just telling me to just stop and do something else.

It is believing that people think you are an idiot. I have to stop believing and rise above it. I will not become the person I want to be.

The second failure isn't my script. It is myself, I am a constant failure. That is fine. I don't hate myself. Unlike in stories. I will never succeed. I just have to be a less consistent failure.The only choice I have is to drag myself kicking and screaming. Because sitting around at home, will not improve me.

This is a repost.