The rules of the game have always been the same.

I have a number of books on writing and self help books. Things that I have acquired over the course of five years. They all tout the same rules, the song remains the same.

Then why is it that there are so many books with the same subject material and the same points? Could it be the fact that we need to be reminded? Do we need the information punched through our skull, numerous times so that we can "discover" it.

Self discovery and self help books are a part of a modern persons reading for a period of time. A chance to meditate on what is and what isn't possible. It is not that you learn to do these things and look for the patterns of success. It is however, about you getting sick of reading the same thing, over and over.

The rule for meeting women? Go outside. The rule for buying food? Go outside. The rule for looking a life like nobody else? Go outside. That should be the first rule of your life. You've heard this before, and  it is the pattern of human development. We all enjoy an underdog, whether it be Shaun of the dead or Rocky. The story is the same, just different window dressing. Seneca has similar rules to success to the modern day thinkers. 

Honestly, I am scared by failure on an almost daily basis. Scared, by trying and always regretful of never trying? That feels like who I am. I strive and struggle. Some days I can write, and others days I try.

I can put off a haircut for three months. I can put off chatting up a girl for what must be 7 months. I can put off anything, because in my shell, failure is just a word.

It is my own fault that I allow myself to dwell in the shell. I can for a few moments of intense focus achieve things, such as talking to the girl. I notice a huge response in people's reactions, a more positive one as if in their minds they are thinking "fuck, this guy is on the ball". Quite honestly that is the person I want to be, and it is possible to be that guy.

I know I am not the only person in is bind, and I am not the only one that is self aware of this situation. I have worked people who have more regret in their veins than they have blood.

We all know who we can be. It is the hardest thing in the world, to live up to our vision. The interesting thing as an aspiring writer of visual media is that I am inspired by my own experiences. To look back on what I have done in a farcical manner. To be able to laugh at myself. Yet, I am scared of trying. This coming from a guy who has read a lot of aspirational material for a few years.